Single in the City of Light

Many single women love traveling but find the idea of traveling to Paris alone just too intimidating. Paris is the most romantic city in the world and is a wonderful place for single women armed with an insider's knowledge of l'affaire du coeur Français. Paris based author, journalist, and ‘'happily unmarried'' Christiann Anderson can offer insights into the sometimes infuriating, but always fascinating, world of France, and the single woman.

QUESTIONS FROM SINGLE WOMEN VISITING OR LIVING IN PARIS:

Q. Dear Ms. Anderson,

This week I called and requested a table for one at "Lasserre" but was told they only had tables for two. So, I reserved a table for two. What will happen when I show up for dinner alone? I don't want to lose my table. Should I make up a lie about a non-existent husband? I would very much appreciate your advice.

Sincerely,
Sally T.

A. Dear Ms. T,

You already know what to do! Reserve that table for two, then when you show up alone, sit for a few minutes and let them know that your "companion" will not be joining you and proceed to order. I do this all the time with great restaurants that only have tables for "Two." Also note, that you must NEVER ask for a ‘'doggie bag'', it simply is not done in Parisian restaurants.

Bon Appetite!
CA

SPECIAL NOTE: The higher quality the restaurant the less likely it is that you will see single women dinning alone. Women of a certain age in Paris (usually 30 yr. and above) would rarely dine alone in public. Culturally speaking the French are a very ‘'couple'' oriented people, and mature women do not necessarily think that being labeled as ‘'single'' is positive. Although things are changing, remember that France is a very male-dominated culture and are not in any hurry to change the status quo.

Q. Dear Ms. Anderson,

Whenever, I go to Paris alone, I find that the men are very flirtatious with me, even when they are with their girlfriends, wives, or children. It makes me uncomfortable and I think that maybe I am coming across as a harlot. Are they acting this way because I am single and they think I'm easy?

Laura N.

A. Dear Ms. N.,

Flirting in France is a powerful tool. When it is done skillfully, the art of flirting shows whether you are interested, or simply a form of appreciation. It can also mean a perfect table at your favorite restaurant, or help in getting information that might otherwise cost you plenty. It is one of the most important skills a French woman learns. But, many Western women have the misconception that flirting should only be used for finding a date or a husband. However, flirting is simply for fun.

Western women have been conditioned to keep their eye on the ‘'long-term goal'', that is to say, a ‘'long-term relationship.'' This makes the idea of casual flirting out of the question for most. Flirting is a form of communication that is often offered on a ‘'short-term'' basis. With the only objective being the act of flirting itself. This is not to say that flirting is in any way frivolous or irresponsible. The French take this form of communication seriously. It is considered healthy and harmless.

CA

Q. Dear Ms. Anderson,

I am planning a trip to Paris alone and wanted to know if the city is safe at night and whether there are areas I should avoid?

Jennifer B.

A. Dear Ms. B.,

Paris is a relatively safe city, compared to many others in Europe, with a far lower rate of violent crime than in the US. Most crime takes the form of petty theft and purse snatching, and constitute approximately 65% of all reported crimes. A majority of these robberies have taken place around train stations, in the metro system or at cafes crowded with tourists. The following tourist sites are frequented by pickpockets and other thieves: Madeleine, Arc de Triomphe, Champs Elysees, Sacre Cœur, L'Opera, Chatelet, Les Halles/George Pompidou Center, Porte de Clingnancourt flea market, and the Eiffel Tower. Be vigilant about your personal belongings in these areas.

Single women should not walk alone around Pigalle, Barbès-Rochechouart, Montmartre, rue Saint-Denis in the 2^nd arrondissement (district), or Belleville alone at night. In general, the northern and eastern arrondissements are less safe than the southern and western ones, and the Right Bank less safe than the Left at night. When walking at night, stick to busy, well-lit streets and avoid dark alleyways, parks, parking lots, and deserted areas. The same as you would in your own city. Trust your ‘'gut'' feelings. If you have a bad feeling about an area or situation, you are probably right.

As for firearms and related crimes; they are rare in Paris. Under French law, any weapon of more than 7.65mm is prohibited for anyone but security personnel. Only people with high-risk jobs, such as jewelry storeowners can obtain pistols. But only after an extensive background check. Hunters and sports shooters must have valid permits and be a member of the French Shooting Federation before a weapon can be purchased. Although there have been several gun related incidents in the past few years, authorities put this down to ‘'lapses'' and are now trying to tighten the rules.

CA

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT BEING SINGLE IN THE CITY OF LIGHT, CONTACT CHRISTIANN ANDERSON AT: lvngsngl@hotmail.com. QUESTIONS MAY BE EDITED BEFORE GOING ONLINE.