(part 1 of 3)
Okay, it's not what it looks like. Well, it is and it isn't, but I won't be appearing on one of Jean-Luc Delarue's swingers-themed shows wearing dark oversized
sunglasses and a blonde wig. Nope, not in this lifetime, so Mom you don't need to call
Reverend Johnson just yet. What I'm talking about is how difficult it is for
people living in Paris to find real friends, versus the U.S.
In America it's just really different when we approach folks: We actually
can. Things truly are a whole lot easier-even in reputed cold
places like Manhattan. By week three of your new job you're best friends
with at least one person you work with. You go to a specific store in the
mall on a regular basis and the next thing you know you're having lunch with
your favourite salesperson. Your hairdresser, nail tech, and daughter's
ballet teacher are all in your cell phone on speed dial, but then you move
to Paris and everything changes.
It takes years to build relationships here-with French people and even with
non-French people. I've been here almost six years and I've seen a lot of
people come and go. I've met people, thought we hit it off, and then didn't
see them again until a whole year later at some American function and they
barely remembered my name. When I had my baby, there weren't people
clamouring to give me a baby shower here, whereas in the States my friends
would have been fighting over it. Thank goodness my mother was coming over
to see me anyway and was able to perform the special honour herself. There
was one American friend present. For my French girlfriends, it was their
first baby shower ever, so they wouldn't even have known how
to give a baby shower.
I now count three American ladies whom I could call on for a baby shower, or that
I could give a baby shower for. I was telling one of my American girlfriends
back in the U.S. about the situation and she said "That's not great and it's
even kind of pathetic." Ok. I didn't think it was that bad. I
informed her that there are in fact many countless women here who, aside
from their families, are alone when it comes to girlfriends. And it's not
that American women are looking for other American women only, but
once you have children it does become more important to have that American
connection. It's nice to know someone who's familiar with the culture (and
language) back home, and to have that person's little angel playing with
yours.
