For people who think that it should be easy to find a "good American friend" here, think again.
Some of the Americans I've met here fall into several groups (and there are
even subgroups but that would take a really long time to go into). None of
these groups are very easy to infiltrate.
First, there's the I want to be the only one group. These women do
not want another American woman in their circle of friends, so forget it.
It's almost impossible to get into this group. I asked a member of this
group one question: Why? She said "Because I'm trying to blend into the
French Culture and most Americans just bother me. I mean, look at the
tourists who come here." Okay, maybe she does have a point. Admit it: You've
been on the metro and seen white sneakers trailing the floor while the
people who wore them spoke awfully loud not realizing that the French
passengers were giving them the evil eye. You sat there and thought
Please don't let them be my people. Please don't let them be
Americans!
Another woman told me that her reason for belonging to this group is "Because
if there are two Americans, then well, some of the mystery is lost, isn't
it? I want to be the only one." That's why this group is called I want
to be the only one group. There can be no competition. You'll be
able to spot this type of friend easily enough. She'll be the one distancing
herself from you the fastest, and you'll notice that she "knows" no
other Americans-except you, and you're on your way out. Better to try to
infiltrate another, less hostile group, if you're looking to make lasting
friends.
Second, there's the I hate French people group. Beware of this group
as it can bring down your whole cultural experience here in France, not to
mention your French husband's wrath, if you have one. This group of ladies
can't stand French people, French food, or the French language. Like I said,
this makes it extremely hard if your husband is French, your kids are half
French, and well, you live in France and you like it! But trust me, this
group exists and is very strong in number. I met an English teacher who fit
into this group. She'd been living here for over 20 years and didn't speak
French because she didn't want to. I asked her why she stayed here, and her
answer? "My husband likes it here."
